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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160673">Hook, Line and -</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing/pseuds/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing'>OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>GN! MC x Mammon prompts [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shall We Date?: Obey Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bad Pick-Up Lines, But only a little, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Mammon being a bit of an ass, Other, Protective Mammon, Tumblr Prompt, that's just his character tbh, unnamed MC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:14:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,084</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing/pseuds/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Mammon used a bad pick-up line to try stealing the exchange student's wallet and three times he didn't</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Main Character &amp; Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) &amp; Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>GN! MC x Mammon prompts [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>304</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hook, Line and -</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey! told ya I'll post this today!!</p><p>Please let me know what you think!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Mammon stomped down the road as fast as his legs would carry him. To say he was pissed would be a bit of an understatement. He wasn’t even sure what exactly he had done to earn this particular punishment, Lucifer had after all hidden his precious Goldie away for a while now. <em>Wasn’t that punishment enough? Why’d Lucifer have to dump one of Diavolo’s newest chess pieces on his lap? And a human at that!</em></p><p>He slowed down a bit, turning his head to catch a glimpse of the human who was trailing after him, taking in their surroundings with wide eyes. He’d gotten used to what humans looked like a long time ago, back in the Celestial Realm where he’d first manifested his preferred Human Skin. Frequent dealings with the witches and the kid helped. But that still didn’t stop them from looking a bit odd. Small and weak, with too little eyes and hands, with lives that passed by in a flash. And while, he supposed, all that was perfectly fine up in their realm down here a human was just an easy target. A meal waiting to happen. And this human, this perfectly average human, who didn’t even have the stink of magic on them like Asmo’s had, was now his responsibility. And if, <em>or rather when</em>, they ended up eaten by some lower level demon, or hell by Beel himself, Mammon would be the one facing the consequences. <em>And hell, he wasn’t even getting paid for this!</em></p><p>Feeling cheated out of the time he could have spent earning Grimm, he eyed the human again. They weren’t bad looking… If anything, they looked like any normal human he’d find up in their realm and he was sure they’d have some money on them, if only he could just…</p><p>He slowed his steps more, letting the human catch up with him until they were by his side.</p><p><em>“Hey,”</em> he dragged the word out slowly, letting his voice come out a bit deeper and wearing his most charming smirk. <em>“Your eyes are bluer than the ocean,”</em> he stretched his hand behind them casually, as they came to an abrupt halt, <em>“And I don’t mind being lost at sea.” </em></p><p>Their wide eyes had shifted to form a confused frown, “My eyes aren’t – ”</p><p>His hand shifted down, falling on to their ass and squeezing. Frowning when he felt nothing, he quickly moved on to the other side just as the human yelped and jumped away, but not before elbowing him in the throat.</p><p>“WERE YOU GROPING MY ASS!?” The human shrieked, looking bewildered and like they were about to start throwing more punches.</p><p>“NO!” Mammon rasps out, hand still clutching at his throat. “I was trying to steal ya wallet! Where the fuck is it anyway!”</p><p>The human, still confused but looking far less likely to deck him on the spot says, “It’s, uhh, in my front pocket.”</p><p>“WHAT KINDA FREAK KEEPS THEIR WALLET IN THEIR FRONT POCKET!?”</p><p>“…me?”</p><p>“Well next time keep it in ya back, got it! Ya can’t expect The Great Mammon to keep an eye on ya without <em>some </em>kinda compensation! We clear?”</p><p>“Would my money even be useful? I don’t have any,” they wave their hand about, “demon money…”</p><p>“Money’s money. Who cares where it comes from.”</p><p>“…Right.” They shifted uncomfortably. “Sorry about your throat… Is it – are you okay?”</p><p>Feeling slightly put out at the question and the seemingly genuine concern, Mammon huffed and turned around to start walking again. “Whatever. Demon, remember? It’d take more than a puny human to take me down. Now hurry up, we can’t have ya get eaten on the first day!”</p><p>He heard them start walking after him at a faster pace, resolutely ignoring the small twinge of something or another in his chest at the thought of the worry in their voice. He’d just have to think of a better line to catch them off guard, and probably remember their eye colour just to be on the safe side.</p><p>That’s all.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He doesn’t really try it again until after Lucifer nearly kills them. With the human going around making pacts and out geeking Levi and nearly getting killed for it, and then rooming with Beel, there hadn’t really been any time for it.</p><p>But now, they were back in the twins’ room and probably vulnerable from their latest and closest near-death experience, he was sure it would be an easy steal. It’s not like he was worried or anything. Obviously not. It’s not like he was using his greed as an excuse to check up on the human, since after staying long enough to make sure they were stable and under the watchful eye of Beel, he’d left to talk Lucifer through whatever spiral he was probably falling down while alone in his office, and missed when they had woken up.</p><p>“Hey,” he says, swallowing the flash of irritation at the sight of them cuddled up in Beel’s bed, under his blankets, with Beel’s hand running through their hair. <em>That should have been his bed, his blankets and his hand. </em></p><p>Beel looks up at his voice, nodding slightly and lifting himself up from the bed. “I’m going to get something to eat.”</p><p>He passes Mammon with a pat to his shoulder, and he smells the hum of the newly formed pact on him. Mammon bites his tongue to hold in a growl.</p><p>Mammon walks up to them, looking down at where their eyes and messy hair poke out of the covers. “If I had four quarters ta give to the four prettiest people in the world, you’d have – ” he scrunches up his nose, “Nope. Can’t do it. Can’t do that one.”</p><p>They giggle from underneath the covers and he feels a swell of pride at that.</p><p>“Here,” they pat the bed next to them, “you get another try.”</p><p>Hopping on to the bed next to them, he tries “Are you a loan? Cause ya got my interest!”</p><p>They laugh again, tangling their fingers on a loose thread from his t-shirt. “How is that any better? You’re still losing money.”</p><p>“Yeah, but that’d be later. First I’m getting a loan!”</p><p>Their laugh is cut off by a yawn. “Too bad I don’t have my wallet, that one might have actually worked.”</p><p>“Yeah? Shame.” His eyes don’t leave theirs.</p><p>When they eventually drift off, still clutching at his t-shirt, he cautiously lets his fingers run through their soft hair.</p><p>He doesn’t look up to notice Beel watching them with a considering look.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“You must be a high test score, because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.”</p><p>Their hand slaps down on his with a worrying degree of speed, pinning it to the table where he had been reaching over their shoulder for their seemingly unguarded wallet.</p><p>Levi snorts and even Beel laughs quietly.</p><p>“You know, if you actually studied for once you might be better at Seductive Speechcraft,” Satan mumbles quietly.</p><p>Mammon scowls at him.</p><p>The human looks up from their textbook to regard him calmly. “By ‘mother’ do you mean Lucifer?”</p><p>Levi cackles.</p><p>“Yeah, maybe.”</p><p>“You know if you wanted to study with us, you could have just asked.” They use the grip on his hand to drag him into the chair next to them.</p><p>“Whatever.”</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He opens their door slowly, peeking in to the dark room and tiptoeing in on bare feet when there’s no movement from the bed.</p><p>“Wallet’s on the table. No need for a line, just take it.”</p><p>He looks at the blanketed lump on the bed that had spoken and makes his way up to it.</p><p>He slips under the covers and immediately his human’s shaking form presses into him. He can feel their warm stuttering breath on his neck as their arms wrap around him and their hands clutch on to the back of his t-shirt.</p><p>Mammon holds them back just as tightly, afraid they’ll vanish in his arms again. He buries his nose in their hair breathing in their familiar smell, untainted by the tang of their blood.</p><p>He counts their heartbeat as they sob into his shoulder, numbly staring at the wall ahead of him.</p><p><em>“It hurts,”</em> they sob. “It hurts so much. It – it still feels like I’m still there. Like I’m living it again and again <em>and again.</em> I don’t want – I don’t – I just want it to stop, <em>Mammon, please</em>.”</p><p>And he wishes, he wishes more than he ever has before, that he was able to steal away their pain.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Can I follow where ya goin’ right now? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams!”</p><p>“Mammon… Your dad kicked you out of your house… He basically threw you down the stairs and locked you in the cellar… Are you okay?”</p><p>“Shuddup.”</p><p>“Plus, my wallet’s not in my back pocket, remember?”</p><p>“SHUDDUP.”</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Maybe he’s a little drunk when he saunters up to them. Maybe he’s still riding on the high of the play and the dance. Whatever it is, it boosts his confidence enough to lean in to them and say, while his other hand unconsciously drifts towards their pocket, “My brothers bet me that I wouldn’t be able ta start a conversation with the most beautiful person in the club. What should I do with their money?”</p><p>And maybe they’re a little drunk too, from the human alcohol Asmo had managed to nab from Solomon. Or maybe they’re still riding from the high of the play and the dance. Because they say, brows furrowed and staring at him with such sincere confusion, “So you spoke to a mirror?”</p><p>Mammon, consequently, spends the next half hour with his burning face buried in their shoulder as they pat his back sympathetically.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He’s sweating a bit when he walks up to them. He wants to say it, get it over with.</p><p>He stops to stare at them, highlighted in the warm glow of the library’s fireplace. His heart fluttered and his cheeks burned. This human. <em>His human. </em>His brave, strong human was utterly breathtaking. Even more so when they turned and smiled at him happily.</p><p>“Mammon?”</p><p>Three words. That’s all he had to say. It should be simple. Easy as that, just to say those three specific words. Instead he says, “If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”</p><p>They laugh brightly. “If you wanted my wallet you could have just asked.” They toss him their wallet, eyes dancing with a deep sort of fondness that was impossible to miss.</p><p>“I love you.”</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Mammon stomped down the road as fast as his legs would carry him. To say he was pissed would be a bit of an understatement. He wasn’t even sure what exactly he had done to earn this particular punishment, Lucifer had after all hidden his precious Goldie away for a while now. <em>Wasn’t that punishment enough? Why’d Lucifer have to dump Diavolo’s newest chess pieces on his lap? </em></p><p>He slowed down a bit, turning his head to catch a glimpse of the human who was trailing after him. He stopped altogether then, working up a whine and aiming puppy dog eyes at them. He’d learned, with time, that his own puppy dog eyes usually worked on them as well as theirs worked on him.</p><p>“Why do I have ta look after them anyway?”</p><p>“What? Didn’t you have fun last time?”</p><p>“Fun!? The last exchange student was a menace! Always poking their nose where it didn’t belong, nearly getting themself killed on a weekly basis! They were turning my hair white! And now I have to deal with a gang of them!”</p><p>His human cackles. “Your hair was already white!”</p><p>“Well it’s not like you were helping it!”</p><p>They jab him in the side playfully. “Well this time you have me to help wrangle the humans.”</p><p>“Pfftt! You’ll be the one leadin’ the charge.”</p><p>They chuckle softly and press a kiss to his cheek. “Probably.”</p><p>They start walking again, keeping pace with each other, till his human shifts slightly closer.</p><p>“Hey,” they dragged the word out slowly, letting their voice come out a bit deeper and wearing their most charming smirk. “Do you have a band-aid?”</p><p>Mammon’s eyes widen as he turns to them. “Why!? What’s wrong!? What happened!? I swear ta – ”</p><p>“Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.” Their hand shifted down, falling on to his ass and squeezing.</p><p>“WERE YOU TRYIN’ TA STEAL MY WALLET!?”</p><p>“Nope, just groping your ass.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I read through so many bad pick-up lines to find these :')</p><p>As usual I'd adore comments because they keep me fed!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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